I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
