This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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