I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
