did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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