just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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