All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
