I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
