elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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