he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
