Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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