when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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