I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
