Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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