Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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