great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
lol hangovers are for mortals.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
