Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
