he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
