please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize