A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
