thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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