we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
