she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
