A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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