he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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