he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
