oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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