I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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