Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
