i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
