I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This is my gift to your gina
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
