How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
