He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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