sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
