my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
