it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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