If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
