When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
