my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
