no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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