I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
