Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
