so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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