apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
