do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
