how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
