Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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