He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So vagazzling was a success
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
