420 ftw
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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