I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
