meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
