I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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