I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
