She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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