were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
