It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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