I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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